Time out- did the War of the Five Kings ever actually end? Because there are still two kings from my count, Stannis and Balon Greyjoy.

Brace yourselves- we’re in for a Bolton-ful season. This season is where Roosey Goosey really hits his stride.

The House of Black and White tells Arya she’s too fat, she's too old, she's too blonde, and leaves her outside without food or water.exciting that must be.

Sansa went from watching Loras Tyrell jousting to Robin Arryn with a stick and you can imagine how exciting that must be.

Brienne and the Hound draw swords and holy crap- this is painful to watch. I mean, great, but also painful.

Littlefinger ejaculates in his pants because Sansa has fastforwarded puberty and comes down the stairs in a low-cut black dress with feathers- she’s a new bird or dark wings, dark words or some shit like that.

Spend Thanksgiving with another kind of bird! In this episode, the Hound laments that he never had a brother that gave him a sword- just a brother who didn’t care about him, beat him, and burned him. Oh my god- the Hound is Nebula.

Across the Shining Sea, high on the hill was a lonely goatherder (yodel-lay-ee yodel-lay-ee yodel-lay-ee hee-hoo!), who is startled as Drogon rises up and presumably barbecues one of his goats.

Lysa is terribly excited to see her fiancée and hugs Sansa but Lysa's face pulls a Melania when Sansa can’t see it.