Kelly… Thinks… She Saw Angel Has Fallen (2019)..?

AHF 001Rating: D for Darkness!

Summary: After several instances of saving the president and cities (I think), Mike Banning finds himself accused of attempted assassination of President Morgan Freeman.

Yeah so… I think I saw this movie. I was definitely in the theater, I definitely saw Gerard Butler stumble over his American accent and (most importantly) Captain Daniels stuck some asses in chairs with his no-nonsense demeanor, but there are a lot of chunks missing.

The lighting was so bad in this movie that I am pretty sure I only saw about 60% of it. All of the action scenes have zero to no lighting- either it’s set at nighttime or all the lights are out, and all you can see are shadows moving very fast. I guess. This, plus the shakey cam, plus the extreme close-ups- you know, the trifecta of “We don’t want you to see how bad this actually is” and “We have a lot of shit we need to hide.”

The Fallen series has always been a goldmine of “Why?” A Secret Service member was fired- why are all the codes to the White House still the same? Why can he still access their deadly weapons? We know that shit changes like, every two days or whatever. I didn’t even see the second one, but I’m sure it was loaded with the same stuff. The “Why?” factor is alive and well in this one. Like, why are you casting Danny Huston and thinking no one can see that plot twist coming? Why don’t they just use the drones against the cabin in the woods? Why are all these locations, including Nick Nolte’s secret residence, so close in proximity? Why is the climax of the movie two old dudes taking half-hearted swings at each other? The conspirator is THAT guy? Is this a Schwarzenegger movie from the mid-90s?

If you read this blog enough, you’ll know that we are very forgiving of bad stories and poor plot in favor of fun (GUN KATA!), but this Angel Has Fallen doesn’t even have that. Gerard Butler isn’t even having a good time.  And for that, there are no redeeming factors to this movie.

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